Hope Is A Very Dangerous Thing

Hope Is A Very Dangerous Thing

Hope Can Drive A Man Insane The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book. It's from a chapter on Pain and Guilt in estranged relationships and the danger of hope. You can’t explain what it’s like to mourn someone who is still alive unless you’ve experienced it first hand. This is what you’re doing now. There’s a sort of impermanence to the loss you’re experiencing because the other person is still alive. The most dangerous thing in the world is hope. Hope can carry us through the dark times and it can also keep us trapped in the cave. There’s no point in hoping things will go back to how they were. Sure, you think everything will be fine if it could just go back to the way it was, but it won’t. Remember, how it was before was most likely miserable. The stress, the arguments, the tension...these were all part of your ‘normal life’ prior to the estrangement. Hope masks this...
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Grace In The Parent Child Relationship

Grace In The Parent Child Relationship

Why won't my kids cut me some slack? As parents we're expected to, and do, extend grace to our kids when they make mistakes. We understand that they don't know all they need to know and don't have the life experience needed to make certain decisions. It comes with the territory, right?   Then how come it so damn difficult for them to return the grace when we screw up? Every child is different, and every child responds to different parenting styles. As parents, we're going to screw up from time to time as we're learning how to best teach our kids what we want them to know. When our kids screw up, we extend them grace, understanding that they're doing the best with what they know. Unfortunately, that grace is seldom returned. Today's kids place expectations on their parents based on the glut of examples they get from friends, media, etc. Add to this having to parent each child differently, and it can put...
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