Blame. It’s the great excuse maker. It’s so simple to point your fingers at other people, other circumstances, and blame them for your life sucking the way it does. Blaming absolves you of taking responsibility for having made the crap decisions that brought you to this point.
This weekend, I watched the Tony Robbins documentary on Netflix “I Am Not Your Guru”. During one of the filmed interventions, he told a young woman that if she was going to blame her dad for all the bad shit in her life, she damn well better blame him for all the good stuff, too. If her dad was the person she wanted him to be, and they had the relationship she wished they’d had, she wouldn’t be half the person she is today.
When you assume….
It’s easy to put our own assumptions on other people and say that ‘they should have known better’ or that ‘they CHOSE not to behave differently’, when the fact is that people can only operate with the tools they have in their box. When you quit assuming that other people would make the same choices, choose the same behaviors as you and accept that 99% of the people in our lives are simply doing the best they can with the tools they have…forgiveness and acceptance come easy.
And yet there’s times when people desire to change, yet they simply don’t have the tools, the resources, the support they need to make those changes. They want to change, they just simply don’t know how or even where to start.
Every single one of us is unique. We all have our learned patterns and behaviors. Every single relationship and every interaction shapes our worldview. We learn what we want and what we don’t want out of life through every interaction with others.
If you’re going to blame others for all the bad shit in your life, you damn well better blame them for the good shit, too.