Mrs. Landingham Doesn’t Want To Know You

Mrs. Landingham Doesn’t Want To Know You

There's a scene in the Two Cathedrals episode of the West Wing where we see the first interactions of Mrs. Landingham and a young Jed Bartlet. In the scene, they're discussing equal pay for women, a taboo topic for the time period, and she's challenging Jed to challenge his father. Over Jed's broken down car Mrs. Landingham says: Look at you. You're a boy king. You're a foot smarter than the smartest kids in the class. You're blessed with inspiration. You must know this by now, you must have sensed it. Look, if you think we're wrong, if you think Mr. Hopkins should honestly get paid more than Mrs. Chadwick, then I respect that. But if you think we're right, and you won't speak up 'cause you can't be bothered, then, God, Jed, I don't even want to know you. That scene says so much about the world today. It's easy to profess what you believe, particularly on social media, by sharing pictures, typing...
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HME 031: It’s Ok To Be Wrong

HME 031: It’s Ok To Be Wrong

Being Wrong Isn't A Bad Thing In this age of overwhelming ignorance, where people see opinions as being equal, being wrong is seen as something to be ashamed of. Not all opinions are equal and neither are all opinions valid. Sometimes, like the graphic says, you're just fucking wrong. Yet we live in a world where fewer and fewer people are able to admit it. Nobody knows all things, nor are they an expert in all things. Some of our best learning lessons come from our being horrendously wrong. Owning up to where we're wrong shows humility and a vulnerability that bridges divides. Only those who are invested in being right all the time would take offense. Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying "I destroy my enemies by making them into friends". This saying isn't just about being friendly with those who hate you, but about being able to admit you held an incorrect belief about them. We've all either gained or...
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HME 030: The $40K Screwjob

HME 030: The $40K Screwjob

A $40,000 Screwjob Yep. A screwjob. A little over 3 years ago I did the right thing and it ended up costing me, well my insurance company, $40,000. So, what do you do when doing the right thing ends up screwing you? Simple. You continue to do the right thing. There's a saying that can be applied here:   We've all faced this in our lives. Confronted with a situation where you either do the right thing or possibly get away with NOT doing the right thing, you choose to do the right thing. And you end up getting screwed. Oscar Wilde sure is a wise man and he sure knew what he was talking about. In the end, however, we all have to live with your choices and we all have to look at ourselves in the mirror every morning. The question is then, who do you want to see? Do you want to see someone who does the right thing even when nobody is watching or someone who doesn't when...
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HME 029: It’s All About Perspective

HME 029: It’s All About Perspective

Your Perspective Creates Your Reality From an outsider's perspective, and by all objective measures, my 2016 should go down as a world record sized shit sandwich. Between  the seemingly never ending challenges with my family, the late year financial crunch, the dumpster fire of an election, and the stress and anxiety that came with it...I should be swimming in the bottom of a bottle of booze. Yet here it is, December, 3 weeks left in this year, and I am absolutely stoked and grateful for every single thing that's happened this year. Yes, there have been challenging times, there are goals I didn't reach, and there are plenty of failures and flops that left me beaten and bruised. I'm still standing strong and, as I reflect on everything that's happened in the last 12 months, I realize I have made some kick ass progress.... I've learned a ton, experienced a bunch, and collected some incredible memories along the way. You see, folks, it's all about...
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Lessons From The Election – Get Skin In The Game

Lessons From The Election – Get Skin In The Game

Thankfully the shitshow that was the 2016 American Presidential Election has ended. While the results are unexpected and, to many, disappointing, many things have become clear. One major thing is that there is an entire generation that, while heavily invested in the outcome, weren't up to putting some skin in the game. Our society has reached a point where slacktivism has replaced actual activism, actual action, in effecting change in the world. Too many people are protesting without organizing, without being dedicated to the long term effort it takes to bring about change. Our society wants things to happen quickly.... 7 minute Abs, point/click/make a gagillion dollars...but lacks the discipline to put forth continuous effort day in and day out. As the old saying goes: I heard too many excuses from people who wanted a certain outcome for the election but were 'too busy' to put their shoe leather to pavement. The only way things are ever going to change is to engage, physically engage,...
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Hot Mess Express 027 – Be The Expert

Hot Mess Express 027 – Be The Expert

One of the most common pieces of advice I've given over the last few years is this. If you want to be the expert, then be the expert. I also say that the key to being the expert lies in your being confident. Back when I was in the Navy, my adviser gave me the best piece of advice I'd heard: Confidence in yourself is the key to being seen as the expert. If you come across as unsure, indecisive, or easily swayed, your credibility will be damaged. When people don't see you as credible, they won't see you as an expert. The key to building your confidence is simple: In order to get beyond the paralysis by analysis, begin making small decisions and then taking action. Decide what you want to eat and then eat it. Pick something out of the closet and wear it. For me, it started by simply putting my socks in the hamper and my shoes in the closet at the...
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026 – Where Have All The Boundaries Gone?

026 – Where Have All The Boundaries Gone?

In today's instant communication, social media driven world, it seems that boundaries have become a thing of the past. We've lost the ability to set personal boundaries for discerning what's for public consumption. People feel empowered to upload their thoughts and opinions on everything and even use social media to publicly shame others as a way to get attention. It seems like there's nothing that's off-limits anymore. That's why setting boundaries is so important. Setting boundaries allows you to share what you want to share with the world without getting caught off-guard doing or saying something stupid. They help prevent gossip by denying the drama queens in your life juicy tidbits to spread. Boundaries also allow you to build the life you want without fending off the slings and arrows of those who don't want to see you change. “if you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the...
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Colin Kaepernick – Hot Mess Or Hero?

In the last 24 hours, Colin Kaepernick has become the whipping boy for a good portion of America. What what his crime? Not standing for the National Anthem. That’s it. When the anthem was played at this weekend’s San Francisco 49ers preseason game, Kaepernick found a spot among the Gatorade coolers and sat quietly. Judging by the reaction of the sports world, and society in general, you’d have thought he dug up Vince Lombardi’s body and peed on it at the 50 yard line. After the game, he was asked why he didn’t stand. He said: “”I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media’s Steve Wyche, confirming Pro Football Talk’s original report. “To me, this is bigger than football, and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave...
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How @samueladamsbeer Won A Customer For Life

In the span of about 60 hours this week, I had two distinctly different customer service experiences. One experience ended up ensuring they had a customer for life, while the other ensured they’d lost a customer forever. On Wednesday this week, my oldest daughter and I went to dinner at a local TGIFriday;s. Now, I like Friday’s. I like their food, the vibe, the happy hour specials. Our family has been a customer of theirs for years. On this night, however, the ridiculously poor service ensured that neither I nor my family would be going back to their restaurant again. Long story short, the place wasn’t busy, maybe half a dozen tables had people, yet we had to wait an inordinate amount of time for our server to come by and after he took our orders, he never once came back to see if we needed another drink, if the food was good…anything. On the other side, this Thursday I brought home...
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You Are A Badass Unicorn…So Act Like It!

You are a badass unicorn. There is nobody on this planet that is you-er than you and not one single soul will use your unique talents and gifts the way that you do. So, why do you spend your time begging you and everyone else around you to think that you’re a loser? Self deprecating humor is asking everyone to think of us as a loser. And not in the loveable “Charlie Brown” kind of way, but at the pathetic member of the group that has nothing to offer except to be a walking punchline. Making yourself into a joke is one of the most effective means of self-sabotage in our repertoire. Whether we think it’s true or not, our subconscious mind takes it in as the truth and adds that to the filter through which we see life. Being able to laugh at ourselves is important. Constantly taking life way too seriously imparts the belief that there’s no room in life for...
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