Imperfect Times Make The Best Memories

Imperfect Times Make The Best Memories

Imperfect Memories The imperfect times. Sure, we all can remember the good times, but what makes the strongest memories? What events do we laugh about for decades after they happen? My wife and I were watching Black-ish the other night, and it was all about trying to make the perfect Christmas memories. The oldest daughter was heading off to college and the dad wanted to make Christmas special because it was their last one. Now, this being a sitcom, you can imagine how it turned out....with the Christmas tree catching on fire and everything. Yes, Christmas had turned into a complete sh*tstorm. But at the end of the show, the dad said one thing: When perfect goes wrong, those are the memories that last forever. How true is this? Years ago, I'm talking the early 80's, my grandmother bought an RV for $900. She decided that over spring break, we would take a big family road trip from Michigan to Colorado to Las Vegas and back. Now,...
Read More
Grace In The Parent Child Relationship

Grace In The Parent Child Relationship

Why won't my kids cut me some slack? As parents we're expected to, and do, extend grace to our kids when they make mistakes. We understand that they don't know all they need to know and don't have the life experience needed to make certain decisions. It comes with the territory, right?   Then how come it so damn difficult for them to return the grace when we screw up? Every child is different, and every child responds to different parenting styles. As parents, we're going to screw up from time to time as we're learning how to best teach our kids what we want them to know. When our kids screw up, we extend them grace, understanding that they're doing the best with what they know. Unfortunately, that grace is seldom returned. Today's kids place expectations on their parents based on the glut of examples they get from friends, media, etc. Add to this having to parent each child differently, and it can put...
Read More
2016 – The Best Year Ever!

2016 – The Best Year Ever!

2016- What A Year It's Been (Subscribe to mah YouTube channel for more awesomeness!) Ask just about anyone and they'll say they're glad to see 2016 come to an end. To call this year a dumpster fire is to be kind. In reality, it's been more of a shit sandwich than anything else. Yet, if you focus on how lousy 2016 was or on the preponderance of bad news, you'll miss what a kick ass year it was. "A kick ass year?" you say, "Surely you're f*cking kidding!" I'm not. Despite all of the challenges 2016 is a damn good year. Just this year I have been able to: celebrate Johnny and Christopher's wedding in New Orleans take a whirlwind trip to Northern Virginia and a couple days in Washington, DC spend a weekend in Gatlinburg, Tennessee before the wildfires destroyed it spend a week on the beach in Sarasota ride the roller coasters in Busch Gardens Plus, I still have a roof over my...
Read More
Election Lessons – Fear Sells. Are You Buying?

Election Lessons – Fear Sells. Are You Buying?

Fear Sells There is absolutely zero doubt about this. For years, one of the unwritten rules in advertising was 'sex sells'. And it did, for everything from beer to shampoo. However, as society rejects the objectification of women and men, sex has been replaced by fear as the most potent advertising tool. A piece in BigThink explains it this way: Yup. Fear works. It has to. It’s what keeps us alive. The problem is, it works so instinctively that when dangers are being peddled by the news media to get our attention, by the marketplace to get our money, or by politicians to get our votes, we are little more than fish on the end of a hook, instinctively afraid and flipping and flopping with fear at the end of a line somebody else is dangling to jerk us around…and the instinctive, subconscious nature of this risk perception system are the rod and reel they’re using, and we really can’t too much about it. Fear...
Read More
Not Everyone Will Love You And That’s OK

Not Everyone Will Love You And That’s OK

Not everyone is going to love you. That's just life. That is also a-ok. As I was watching the Democratic debate this past weekend, the moderator asked all the candidates if "corporate America would love them". Two of the candidates answered "No". Hillary Clinton, though, answered "everyone should". I cringed when I heard this. This is an attitude that says "It's more important for everyone to like me than it is to be myself". You don't want everyone to love you. You just don't. You don't want to lose the core of yourself by contorting to fit into everyone else's boxes, tossing your principles aside because if you keep them you won't fit, or censoring parts of your personality because they might not be appreciated by everyone. I read something recently that really struck a nerve: If your principles change depending on your circumstances, you don't have principles, you have hobbies. Reading that was like a punch to the gut. It was a reminder of how I used to live. For as long...
Read More
7 Commandments Of Clean Eating

7 Commandments Of Clean Eating

7 COMMANDMENTS FOR CLEAN EATING What is clean eating? I know I asked that question when I began to see those word pop up on Facebook, as hashtags on Instagram, and in blog posts. Well, it’s pretty simple. Simply put, clean eating is eating whole, healthy foods. That’s it. No need to complicate it beyond that. So, without further ado, here are 7 simple rules to help you start eating clean: Eat Real One of the first things is to eat real food… stuff that comes straight out of the ground or raised on a farm. If it doesn’t come straight from either one of those places, it most likely ain’t real. Eat Naked Not yourself…well, you can, but that’s your deal. Eating naked means ditching the boxed and prepackaged foods. No more TV dinners, boxed lasagnas, or anything with a “flavor packet”. Eat What You Can Pronounce If it comes from a lab, odds are it isn’t all that good for you. Additives like high fructose corn...
Read More
Sometimes Victory Is Just Showing Up

Sometimes Victory Is Just Showing Up

The most super-awesome victory looks like a tiny victory. When I started this morning's post, this isn't at all the subject it was going to be about. Perhaps I'll save that for another edition of the Hot Mess Express podcast (shameless plug...go and subscribe now...trust me, it's awesome). Yet as they say...the best laid plans of mice and men...and I had a, well, not sure you could call it a dialogue, but a conversation with someone over FB this morning that pretty much derailed all that. In the past 18-24 months, more has happened than I think any normal human should ever have to deal with. It's been rumors, innuendo, backstabbing, anger, bitterness, and hurt feelings all around. I've been just as guilty as others. Top that off with having one of your kids hauled off in handcuffs and sent to a mental health facility for a week over Easter weekend, the challenges of helping your kid in coping with mental illness, and...
Read More
Tony Robbins: Get Out Of Your Funk

Tony Robbins: Get Out Of Your Funk

In this two minute video from Business Insider, Tony Robbins gives you the straight skinny on how you can pull yourself out of your funk. That's not to say that you won't have bad days, but as Tony says, you don't have to live there. When you have a bad day, experience it, acknowledge it, and then move forward. I know it sounds easy. I also know it's not easy to do. Yet what purpose is there in sulking in your bad times? Sure, you might gather a crowd around you who will share in your misery before dismissing your misery and tromping all over it by making their misery more important...or better yet, feed your misery because your feeling bad make them fell better about themselves. Like anything, you can train yourself to be positive. Don't tolerate being miserable. Don't tolerate being around miserable people. Set your sights and your standards high....
Read More
7 Ways To Raise Your Self Esteem

7 Ways To Raise Your Self Esteem

"I'm not good enough." "I'm not pretty enough." "Nobody cares what I have to say." I'm sure you've said these things, or other things like them, to yourself plenty of times in your life. Hell, I know I have. I also know I got sick and tired of kicking my own ass and holding myself back from unleashing all the awesomeness I had inside myself. Aren't you tired of it, too? Aren't you tired of living a mediocre life, dealing with regret, meandering from day to day because your self esteem sucks? My low self esteem drove me to make stupid decisions in all areas of my life...in how I handled money, the relationships I chose, and even in my career. The good news is that I learned how to boost my self esteem, build my self respect, and finally start moving towards living the life I always wanted to live. Best part is, anyone can do it. Having healthy self esteem is important for a number of reasons. Life is...
Read More
Midlife Crisis – A Time For Rebirth And Renewal

Midlife Crisis – A Time For Rebirth And Renewal

A midlife crisis isn't a time to mourn what once was. It's a time to celebrate the birth of what is yet to come. I'm willing to bet that right now you're feeling stuck, lost, in a fog, trapped....and many other synonyms...and you're wondering to yourself "exactly how the f*ck did I get here?" I get it...you had plans. You had dreams. Then one day it happened. You woke up, looked at yourself in the mirror, and wondered how the hell you ended up here. Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, you’re here because you chose to be. Little by little, every decision you made took you down the path that has brought you to where you are. From the first job that paid you enough to give up on your dreams to every time you said “no” to new adventures to every time you settled for what was offered instead of waiting for what you wanted…you...
Read More