13 Reasons Why – A Parent’s Perspective

13 Reasons Why – A Parent’s Perspective

13 Reasons Why is a new Nexflix series based on the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The show revolves around a student who kills herself after a series of culminating failures, brought on by select individuals within their school. While it has received some critical acclaim for addressing a difficult topic in a fairly real and unfiltered way, it has also received a great deal of criticism. The criticism appears to revolve around a few common points that don't really have a great deal of evidence to back them up. "It needs a trigger warning" The series is adapted from a book that tells a story that involves suicide, date rape, and bullying. That is the motif of the story. To be perfectly straightforward, I'm not sure what more of a 'warning' is needed. All of the info about the story is freely available on the electric internet machines the kids are using today. "It simplifies suicide as someone else to blame" I...
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Are Millennials Entitled Little Shits?

Are Millennials Entitled Little Shits?

The Entitled Generation A lot has been written about the millennial generation: they’re spoiled, entitled, soft, unable to deal with simple social situations, etc. A with any stereotype or generalization, there is a kernel of truth in what they say. Statistics and studies are beginning to detail how this generation has a higher incidence of depression and social anxiety. Simon Sinek recently pointed to one that showed more and more millennials are taking leave from college due claiming depression. In fact, the millennial generation is on track to have the highest percentage of members with mental health challenges. You have to stop and ask why. Why are so many millennials so unbalanced? It’s a complex issue that has no simple answer. Helicopter Parents My generation, Gen X, is the generation that bridged the ‘simpler times’ of the Boomer years and the social media/internet generations of the millennials.  We were the first generation to grow up with home video games, home computers, cable television, and the...
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10 Ways To Sabotage Yourself And How To Stop

10 Ways To Sabotage Yourself And How To Stop

You are your own worst enemy. It's not the haters or the critics that will destroy you and your dreams, it's you. You can and do sabotage yourself all the time. The biggest impediment to your success is the distance between your ears. Get Lazy Everyone feels unmotivated from time to time. It's ok to rest, just don't let the rest become permanent. Try To Look Good People can tell when you're putting on a show. They can smell bullshit a mile away. Be authentically you. Always. Operate From Fear Fear brings scarctiy. Operate from gratitude and the abundance will follow. Try To Be Liked/Loved You can't please everyone, so don't even try. Stay true to yourself and you'll reach who you're supposed to reach. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Listen To the Naysayers As Gary Vaynerchuck says - Respect everyone. Listen to noone. The peanut gallery wants to see you fail because they failed. Avoid Being Responsible When you screw up, own it. Period. Refuse...
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Steve Harvey: Jump To Be Successful

Steve Harvey: Jump To Be Successful

Jump - But Test The Depth First If you've been on Facebook more than 20 minutes, you've either seen this video or memes created from it with Steve Harvey saying if you want to be successful, you have to jump. While on one hand I agree with this advice, on the other hand I don't. Yes, if you want to be successful you have to take risks, yet there's a difference between risk and risky. My good friend Sam Crowley explained it this way: Risk is driving down a road at 100 miles an hour. Risky is doing the same thing at night, with no lights on, and drunk. Too many people jump into the water without testing the depth first. Growing up, we would go cliff jumping in the lakes in Arizona. We'd climb up the side of a mountain, swallow hard, and then leap into the water below. While yes, to jump off a cliff is to take a risk, we never did...
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Jason Momoa – 21st Century Man

Jason Momoa – 21st Century Man

I'll be honest. I don't really know much about Jason Momoa. Aside from his being cast as the new Aquaman, I claim ignorance. Then this video crossed my timeline. Watching this a few times has given me a deep appreciation for the type of man that Momoa is. Just by looking at him, you'd think he was your typical hypermasculine male stereotype. He's got the hair, the abs, the certain swagger in the way he carries himself. Yet while listening to him talk about his life's journey you're quick to realize that he is so much more than he appears to be on the surface. He's an artist, a dreamer, a father, and a visionary. Momoa talks about his journey as a wanderer and how experiencing the entire world shapes how he is as a father. It starts with appreciating the natural world, exploring and climbing, and then it moves on to art and music. From there it's about teaching his children discipline, integrity, hard...
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Language: Words We Use Can Build Up Or Destroy

Language: Words We Use Can Build Up Or Destroy

Language Matters Words have meaning and power. The language we use shapes how we see and interact with the world. Most people are unintentional about the words they choose. They simply just speak into existence whatever comes into their mind. People with a tolerant personality tend to use more inclusive and humanizing language while those who see the world in adversarial terms speak in more exclusive and dehumanizing language. The video above from Mayim Bialik put this theory, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, in very simple terms. When we call women 'girls', we're intentionally or unintentionally devaluing women and disempowering them. As she says, we wouldn't call professional men 'boys', so why do we call professional women 'girls'? Men, The Language We Use, And Respect Men are taught from a very young age that respect is linked to violence. We teach our sons to 'man up', 'toughen up', or 'grow some balls'. Phrases like 'I'd hit that', 'I'd tear that shit up', or 'I'd smack that ass' are...
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The Footsteps We Leave Behind Are Our Legacy

The Footsteps We Leave Behind Are Our Legacy

Legacy We leave footsteps on the world as we walk through life. Tonight we were watching This Is Us, the episode of William's memorial. After leaving a letter behind for his granddaughters to plan the service, Randall is finally able to sit back and let some of the stress in his life subside. Watching this, people William knew are sharing stories of how he touched their lives. His boyfriend shared how William faked knowing about football so he could 'fit in' among his friends. The mailman talked about how he and William became friends during his morning walk and always asked about his daughter. At one point, the mailman says: "Nobody just stops and talks anymore." It's through these tertiary stories that we see how huge an impact William had on the world around him. Although he wasn't around long, William left some pretty deep footprints behind. You often hear people talking about legacy. Gary Vaynerchuk is big on legacy. My friend Sam Crowley makes...
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Share Your Scars, Not Your Open Wounds

Share Your Scars, Not Your Open Wounds

Open wounds can get infected if you keep picking at them and don't allow them to heal. Sharing them with the world can spread the infection further than you realize. If there's one thing I preach constantly is that you should tell your story. Nobody else has the right to prevent you from doing so. Yet in doing so, you must be careful to share your scars and not your open wounds. We all get wounded in life. Whether through our own choices and actions or inflicted upon us by others, it's impossible to get through life unmolested. In the age of social media, it's easy to take to the internet and share your wounds with the world. The only problem is that displaying your wounds openly can cause infection in other areas of your life. Tend to your wounds and let your scars tell the story. Time Heals Eventually the wounds will heal and leave scars. It's the scars that tell the whole story,...
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Your Life: Is It A Warning Or An Example?

Your Life: Is It A Warning Or An Example?

Tony Robbins says "Everyone's life is either a warning or an example". You've seen the saying "No matter how big your house is, how recent your car is, or how big your bank account is. Our graves will always be the same size." It's a saying that while serving as a reminder to stay humble, it also dismisses what you accomplish in life. While we all may end up in the same size hole, there's so much more to our lives than just a race to the eternal dirt nap. In our lives we're becoming a story. We become stories of celebration and sadness, gain and loss, trials and tribulations. Don't Be A Warning People whose lives serve as a warning are all around us. They're the ones who constantly complain, playing the victim card, and take no actions to improve their lives. They're convinced that everything is everyone else's fault and that life happens to them. Warnings are the people who will undercut...
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Roll Down The Windows And Turn Up The Music

Roll Down The Windows And Turn Up The Music

Alan Watts once said that in music, one doesn't make the end of the composition the point of the composition. A piece of music is to be enjoyed as a tapestry or a painting, with all of the elements coming together to create a beautiful work of art. The same can be said about life. Life isn't about getting to the end, it's about enjoying the journey. This week on This Is Us, we witnessed an event that we knew was coming, the death of William.  We knew it was coming and we knew HOW his death was coming, but I don't think anyone was emotionally prepared for the kick to the gut this episode was. After a road-trip with his son, William died in a Memphis hospital, Randall's hands on his head keeping him calm. My wife and I shed more than a couple of tears while watching this incredibly sad and gut wrenching scene. During the trip, William shared some advice...
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