13 Reasons Why – A Parent’s Perspective

13 Reasons Why – A Parent’s Perspective

13 Reasons Why is a new Nexflix series based on the 2007 novel Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The show revolves around a student who kills herself after a series of culminating failures, brought on by select individuals within their school. While it has received some critical acclaim for addressing a difficult topic in a fairly real and unfiltered way, it has also received a great deal of criticism. The criticism appears to revolve around a few common points that don't really have a great deal of evidence to back them up. "It needs a trigger warning" The series is adapted from a book that tells a story that involves suicide, date rape, and bullying. That is the motif of the story. To be perfectly straightforward, I'm not sure what more of a 'warning' is needed. All of the info about the story is freely available on the electric internet machines the kids are using today. "It simplifies suicide as someone else to blame" I...
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Are Millennials Entitled Little Shits?

Are Millennials Entitled Little Shits?

The Entitled Generation A lot has been written about the millennial generation: they’re spoiled, entitled, soft, unable to deal with simple social situations, etc. A with any stereotype or generalization, there is a kernel of truth in what they say. Statistics and studies are beginning to detail how this generation has a higher incidence of depression and social anxiety. Simon Sinek recently pointed to one that showed more and more millennials are taking leave from college due claiming depression. In fact, the millennial generation is on track to have the highest percentage of members with mental health challenges. You have to stop and ask why. Why are so many millennials so unbalanced? It’s a complex issue that has no simple answer. Helicopter Parents My generation, Gen X, is the generation that bridged the ‘simpler times’ of the Boomer years and the social media/internet generations of the millennials.  We were the first generation to grow up with home video games, home computers, cable television, and the...
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Integrity: The Less You Use It, The More You Have

Integrity: The Less You Use It, The More You Have

Integrity is defined as: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. the state of being whole and undivided Society today has an integrity deficit. Instead of trading in truths, bullshit and lies are the currency of the times. It doesn't matter if it's in relationships, in the workplace, or on the teevee. There is a serious deficit of people who have integrity and are congruent. Nowhere is this more visible than in the political realm. Just today I caught the tail end of an interview with Dr. Gina Loudon. Her brand is built on honesty, truth, and being a psychological, political, and social commentator. Now, according to her bio she's well educated. Yet in this interview 99% of what came out her mouth was bullshit and lies. Not little ones either. Big, flaming, disproved with 8 seconds on the Google lies. What does this say about her and her brand? What does this say about her expertise? Honestly, what it...
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10 Ways To Sabotage Yourself And How To Stop

10 Ways To Sabotage Yourself And How To Stop

You are your own worst enemy. It's not the haters or the critics that will destroy you and your dreams, it's you. You can and do sabotage yourself all the time. The biggest impediment to your success is the distance between your ears. Get Lazy Everyone feels unmotivated from time to time. It's ok to rest, just don't let the rest become permanent. Try To Look Good People can tell when you're putting on a show. They can smell bullshit a mile away. Be authentically you. Always. Operate From Fear Fear brings scarctiy. Operate from gratitude and the abundance will follow. Try To Be Liked/Loved You can't please everyone, so don't even try. Stay true to yourself and you'll reach who you're supposed to reach. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Listen To the Naysayers As Gary Vaynerchuck says - Respect everyone. Listen to noone. The peanut gallery wants to see you fail because they failed. Avoid Being Responsible When you screw up, own it. Period. Refuse...
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The Titanic Poster On My Wall And Masculinity

The Titanic Poster On My Wall And Masculinity

When you think of a "manly" movie it's a pretty safe bet that Titanic doesn't make the top 50. It's universally thought of as a "chick flick" with almost no redeeming "manly" qualities about it. Yet when I think of it, I see it as not only a great love story, but Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack exemplifies a lot of what a man truly is. Titanic starts out with Jack taking hold of his future by winning a card game. The rest of the movie he seeks to prove he's more than his station in life. Yes, his life ends tragically by freezing to death in the ocean but for a few days he grabs the golden ring. Oh..and while, yes, there was room on the door for both, odds are the wood wasn't buoyant enough for the weight of two people. I love that movie. In fact, I still own the two cassette VHS version. At one point I even had the framed movie poster hanging...
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Steve Harvey: Jump To Be Successful

Steve Harvey: Jump To Be Successful

Jump - But Test The Depth First If you've been on Facebook more than 20 minutes, you've either seen this video or memes created from it with Steve Harvey saying if you want to be successful, you have to jump. While on one hand I agree with this advice, on the other hand I don't. Yes, if you want to be successful you have to take risks, yet there's a difference between risk and risky. My good friend Sam Crowley explained it this way: Risk is driving down a road at 100 miles an hour. Risky is doing the same thing at night, with no lights on, and drunk. Too many people jump into the water without testing the depth first. Growing up, we would go cliff jumping in the lakes in Arizona. We'd climb up the side of a mountain, swallow hard, and then leap into the water below. While yes, to jump off a cliff is to take a risk, we never did...
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Jason Momoa – 21st Century Man

Jason Momoa – 21st Century Man

I'll be honest. I don't really know much about Jason Momoa. Aside from his being cast as the new Aquaman, I claim ignorance. Then this video crossed my timeline. Watching this a few times has given me a deep appreciation for the type of man that Momoa is. Just by looking at him, you'd think he was your typical hypermasculine male stereotype. He's got the hair, the abs, the certain swagger in the way he carries himself. Yet while listening to him talk about his life's journey you're quick to realize that he is so much more than he appears to be on the surface. He's an artist, a dreamer, a father, and a visionary. Momoa talks about his journey as a wanderer and how experiencing the entire world shapes how he is as a father. It starts with appreciating the natural world, exploring and climbing, and then it moves on to art and music. From there it's about teaching his children discipline, integrity, hard...
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The Alpha Male Must Die Before It Kills You

The Alpha Male Must Die Before It Kills You

The Alpha Male as the ideal of what masculinity looks like in public needs to die. The days of Don Draper, Archie Bunker, and American Dad are over. In the last 40 years society has progressed so far, so fast, that men, in general, have moved into three camps: Hypermasculine, uber aggressive men Men who suppress their masculinity and embrace their femininity Men in the middle wondering "where the fuck do I fit in?" Hypermasculine alpha males currently dominate male culture. It's promoted in movies, television, advertising, and in many men's coaching programs available today. The dominant definition of what it means to 'be a man' is defined by phrases like: grow some balls don't be a sissy don't cry like a bitch don't be so damned sensitive In short, being a 'real man' means burying your feelings, reject your feminine side, and don't have any feelings besides aggression and domination. It's time to kill this representation of what it means to be a...
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Language: Words We Use Can Build Up Or Destroy

Language: Words We Use Can Build Up Or Destroy

Language Matters Words have meaning and power. The language we use shapes how we see and interact with the world. Most people are unintentional about the words they choose. They simply just speak into existence whatever comes into their mind. People with a tolerant personality tend to use more inclusive and humanizing language while those who see the world in adversarial terms speak in more exclusive and dehumanizing language. The video above from Mayim Bialik put this theory, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, in very simple terms. When we call women 'girls', we're intentionally or unintentionally devaluing women and disempowering them. As she says, we wouldn't call professional men 'boys', so why do we call professional women 'girls'? Men, The Language We Use, And Respect Men are taught from a very young age that respect is linked to violence. We teach our sons to 'man up', 'toughen up', or 'grow some balls'. Phrases like 'I'd hit that', 'I'd tear that shit up', or 'I'd smack that ass' are...
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The Footsteps We Leave Behind Are Our Legacy

The Footsteps We Leave Behind Are Our Legacy

Legacy We leave footsteps on the world as we walk through life. Tonight we were watching This Is Us, the episode of William's memorial. After leaving a letter behind for his granddaughters to plan the service, Randall is finally able to sit back and let some of the stress in his life subside. Watching this, people William knew are sharing stories of how he touched their lives. His boyfriend shared how William faked knowing about football so he could 'fit in' among his friends. The mailman talked about how he and William became friends during his morning walk and always asked about his daughter. At one point, the mailman says: "Nobody just stops and talks anymore." It's through these tertiary stories that we see how huge an impact William had on the world around him. Although he wasn't around long, William left some pretty deep footprints behind. You often hear people talking about legacy. Gary Vaynerchuk is big on legacy. My friend Sam Crowley makes...
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